The Ten Commandments for Parents of Athletic Children
From News for Swim Parents
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
Reprinted from "The Young Athlete" by Bill Burgess
1. Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love him, appreciate his
efforts, and are not disappointed in him. This will allow him to do his best without a fear of failure.
Be the person in his life he can look to for constant positive enforcement.
2. Try your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic ability, his competitive attitude,
his sportsmanship, and his actual skill level.
3. Be helpful but don’t coach him on the way to the pool or on the way to the pool or on the way
back or at breakfast, and so on. It’s tough not to, but it’s a lot tougher for the child to be inundated
with advice, pep talks and often critical instruction.
4. teach him to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying”, to be working to improve his
swimming skills and attitudes. Help him to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for
having fun.
5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure; you lost as
well as won. You were frightened, you blacked off at times, you were not always heroic. Don’t
pressure your child because of your pride. Athletic children need their parents so you must not
withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling, sensitive free spirit out there in that uniform
who needs a lot of understanding, especially when his word turns bad. If he is comfortable with
you win or lose; he’s on his way to maximum achievement and enjoyment.
6. Don’t compete with the coach. If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will run from
enchantment to disenchantment…with your athlete.
7. Don’t compare the skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team, at
least within his hearing.
8. Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his philosophy, attitudes, ethics and
knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his leadership.
9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate both when praised and when criticized.
Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
10. Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb
mountains, and are afraid to fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in
certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in
spite of fear of discomfort.
The job of the parent of an athletic child is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well. It is
worth all the effort when you hear your child say, “My parents really helped and I was lucky in this
respect
1. Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love him, appreciate his
efforts, and are not disappointed in him. This will allow him to do his best without a fear of failure.
Be the person in his life he can look to for constant positive enforcement.
2. Try your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic ability, his competitive attitude,
his sportsmanship, and his actual skill level.
3. Be helpful but don’t coach him on the way to the pool or on the way to the pool or on the way
back or at breakfast, and so on. It’s tough not to, but it’s a lot tougher for the child to be inundated
with advice, pep talks and often critical instruction.
4. teach him to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be “out there trying”, to be working to improve his
swimming skills and attitudes. Help him to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for
having fun.
5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure; you lost as
well as won. You were frightened, you blacked off at times, you were not always heroic. Don’t
pressure your child because of your pride. Athletic children need their parents so you must not
withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling, sensitive free spirit out there in that uniform
who needs a lot of understanding, especially when his word turns bad. If he is comfortable with
you win or lose; he’s on his way to maximum achievement and enjoyment.
6. Don’t compete with the coach. If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will run from
enchantment to disenchantment…with your athlete.
7. Don’t compare the skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team, at
least within his hearing.
8. Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his philosophy, attitudes, ethics and
knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his leadership.
9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate both when praised and when criticized.
Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
10. Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb
mountains, and are afraid to fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in
certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in
spite of fear of discomfort.
The job of the parent of an athletic child is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well. It is
worth all the effort when you hear your child say, “My parents really helped and I was lucky in this
respect
